You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
then he tried to convert me to islam
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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