I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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