If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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