her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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