My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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