There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
