O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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