I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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