Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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