i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
