Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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