if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
