There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
