I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
