i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
