shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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