what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
