did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
