tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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