So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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