He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
