he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Dignity is for republicans.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
