I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
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