also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
