He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
