This girl is more easily done than said...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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