i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
