I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
