Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
