our cab driver is having phone sex.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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