I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
