so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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