i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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