I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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