yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
