He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
