Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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