**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize