No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
