I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize