..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
