I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
