I think i peed on brittanys purse
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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