I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
