SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
