my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
