i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
There's even glitter on my cock...
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