they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
PANTIES FOUND
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