i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
