Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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