brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
