but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I could fuck to npr.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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