I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
