You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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