i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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