If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
