you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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