R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
