ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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