Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You can't just leave with hair like that
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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