Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
