We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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